Last week, I am glad to say, I had a good week overall. Despite all the insulting and apologizing, I had a general feeling of wellbeing and love towards my fellow man. Having not been insulted for a few days I was starting to feel secure.
One evening I took my spotter scope and headed off to Ballyronan to look at the birds. When I got there a whole fleet of children were in some sort of organized group and were using the playground so I headed over to another place where the bird watching was not so good.
Seeing what looked like an African American bin liner (you can’t be too careful) in the distance at the far end of a field, I turned my spotter scope on it and saw the most beautiful Irish mountain hare eating away and sitting as happy as Larry without a care in the world.
A few seconds later a huge cock pheasant came out of the undergrowth and walked around a few yards from the hare, before heading back in again and disappearing from view. To top it all a young hare came out and joined its mother.
Now comes the next morning, I awoke to an e mail from a friend telling me that I had been attacked in the Irish News.
Delightful! I must be doing something right when the pro-abortionists are attacking me. I thanked God for the privilege of being insulted for speaking his truth and went about my business which included going to Mass and paying due respect to the Saviour.
But I needn’t have bothered because on the Nolan show that very evening a new saviour proudly announced himself to the world: St Martin de Porous humbly proclaimed that “I would willingly lay down my life for the peace process.”
It conjures up all sorts of visions; Martin being tried at the City Hall, (the one he took the flag from), being tied to the statue of Carson at Stormont and scourged before finally being crucified on steps of the great building.
I wonder would he rise again: knowing Martin he probably would.
What a weird world we live in. We want no part of God but use his name and themes when it suits us.
Then on Friday, we in the not-so-United Kingdom were treated to an all day celebration of thousands of young men dying on a beach. It was 70 years from D-Day. Would it not have suited us better had there been some sort of serious look at how we can avoid war and all its terrible consequences?
But let’s leave all the bickering behind us and look at a bit of good news; the neighbours are coming to visit.
“The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh are to visit Northern Ireland later this month.
The Royal couple will attend a series of public engagements from 23 to 25 June.
Northern Ireland Secretary Theresa Villiers said she was ‘absolutely delighted’.
‘This will be a wonderful opportunity to show Her Majesty and His Royal Highness some of the best that Northern Ireland has to offer and demonstrate the work being done to bring different parts of the community together and build a more prosperous future,’ she said.” (BBC News)
What a load of dribble, all this stuff about ‘the work being done to bring different parts of the community together.’
We must be the most ‘together’ community in the world. Way back in 1971, when I was a lad, there were women from the Community Relations crowd coming to talk to us in St Patrick’s Hall in Coalisland.
The lady was very serious about her work and told us that we should all go out and mix with our Protestant neighbours and live happily together. We didn’t pay a button of heed to her then in the same way as the children of working class areas don’t listen to them now.
Perhaps I am wrong. Here is my solution; why don’t we all befriend the Muslims and then through them we can all get to know our neighbours across the fence. Maybe the BBC can see the big picture that a feeble mind like mine cannot.
We were discussing all these issues at the breakfast table when Mrs Quinn announced with a sense of urgency, that we were going that same day to join the gym. The motion was passed without a vote and a few hours later Mr & Mrs Quinn, wee bag in hand, were traipsing through the doors of the Termoneeny centre.
Tommy Stevenson gave us an induction and away we went. Half an hour later, tired but feeling good, we were on our way home.
I was still a bit mystified as to all this interest in exercise and health when I sat down to watch the news. Then, courtesy of ITN, all was revealed: Mrs Q was afraid of being arrested.
“A couple have been arrested by police on suspicion of cruelty and neglect of their obese child.
A 49-year-old man and a 44-year-old woman, from King's Lynn in Norfolk, were questioned by officers over the child's care and released on bail.
Police said intervention at this level was "very rare" and only occurred where other attempts to protect the child had been unsuccessful.
"When dealing with sensitive issues such as obesity and neglect of children, officers from the force's Child Abuse Investigation Unit work closely with partners, significantly with both health care and social services, to ensure any response to address them is proportionate and necessary," police said.” (BBC News)
It conjures up images of ‘belly police’ going around our schools, measuring children who don’t fit the ideal profile! Maybe there will be a special gate made where if a child doesn’t fit through the parents will be called in to answer questions
Obesity is a Western disease. There are now estimates that up to one third of all people in the western world are overweight to the extent that we are damaging our health. And yet one in seven of the world’s population are in a constant state of food shortage.
So here we have this wonderful scenario where there is plenty of food in the world and people are starving to death. Every four seconds, the time it takes you to read a sentence, a child dies of hunger.
But wait for it gets better.
We cannot call them by the ‘n’ word because that would be insulting and the nice people do not insult; but we can let them die of starvation because we won’t share our food with them. We need it all for little Jimmy!
After this we have the AIDS epidemic in Africa. The drugs to successfully combat AIDS are very expensive, about $100 a shot, but generic drugs costing $3 a time would do the job just as well.
The large Western drugs companies, who would never dream of using the ‘n’ word, are quite prepared to let these people die in order to keep their profits up.
We are a wonderful creation; we can justify anything, even letting the innocent die. And what is worse, in the West no one can see anything wrong with this charade as long as we stick to the golden rule: be nice!
If we believe what we read in the papers and what we hear on the news, it appears that our hospital staff are not being very nice. However, let me state here and now, that recently having had occasion to visit the Royal A&E, I thought the staff were very helpful and did their best in difficult circumstances.
But they are now to be investigated for Human Rights abuse.
“The Northern Ireland Human Rights Commission is to investigate whether patients who encountered problems in A&E had their human rights violated. It is the first time that such an inquiry has ever been held.
Members of public and those working in the health system, including managers, will be asked to give evidence. Its aim is to identify the extent to which the human rights of people seeking emergency care are respected, protected and fulfilled in practice.
The inquiry will also identify good practice in local emergency departments. This is a highly significant move and reflects just how seriously the Human Rights Commission considers what has been happening in some of the emergency departments in Northern Ireland's hospitals.” (BBC News)
This idea points to the flaw in the whole human rights issue. If we all have rights to everything then we all have no rights at all.
The Orangemen have the right to march but the residents have the right to privacy; stalemate.
I have the right to 5* treatment in the hospital but the poor have the right to benefits; stalemate.
We all have freedom of expression but we can’t have an opinion: stalemate.
What a load of bull.
The United Kingdom is broke: we are living well beyond our means. We can’t afford the health service we have but we want 5* treatment as a human right, so someone is going to have to go without so the nice upper middle classes can feel good about their wee jobs and nod smugly at each other when they drink their sherry.
Who do you think will pay so that we can go into a hotel/hospital and have our human rights respected.
The weak ones not us, we wouldn’t vote for a party that wanted to balance the books of the economy and live within our means. We can cut a few billion from the unemployment benefits and borrow billions from the financial markets, thereby saddling our children with huge national debt.
Up to a third of all unemployed young people never leave the house. They receive about £60 a week in unemployment benefit and many can’t afford to feed themselves, living on Britain’s fasting growing industry, food banks. They won’t have to look behind their back to see if the belly police are coming.
But never fear, we shall soon have big signs in the Royal and Antrim Hospital saying that “Your Human Rights Are Protected,” and we can drink a nice cup of tea as we sit with our cut finger watching overworked and underpaid nurses run the legs off themselves in case they are dragged before the European Court of Human Rights.
Human Rights abuses cover such items as genocide, mass murders and the like. We do these things on the Muslims in Iraq and Afghanistan, but as long as we don’t insult them in Northern Ireland then everything is fine!
What a mess we are getting ourselves into: and to top it all it is June. We are entering the heart of the marching season, the time of year when all things Catholic can be insulted and ridiculed.
I have made a resolution, no matter what is said and shouted about the Taigs I am not going to get angry. I shall pretend to be a Muslim and then everybody shall love me.
We all know about the hierarchy of victims and the fact that Catholics were the last in the list, often being considered victims who brought it on themselves.
So now we have a hierarchy of ‘insultees.’ (People who can’t be insulted)
Here is Uncle Turlough’s list of insultees:
No 1, Muslims. 2, African Americans, who are neither African nor American. 3, Orangemen. 4, Blackmen, (the Northern Ireland variety). 5, Lesbians. 6, Gays. 7, Bi-sexuals. 8, Transexuals, 9, Travelling People, 10, large posteriors on cyclists.............. 481, Catholics.
I often think that when God created us he realized that we would need a sense of humour, for how else could we live in this insane world; if you took it seriously your head would go completely.
That is the huge flaw in secularism: everyone can decide for themselves, everyone has equal rights to anything and nobody can be insulted or offended in any way: we must all be nice.
You know, Jesus wasn’t all that nice a person by modern standards. In fact if he were alive today he would never be out of police stations. He insulted the Jewish authorities, the rich, the powerful and most of all, the Pharisees. He challenged everyone around him.
But then Jesus knew a couple of things the modern world seems to have forgotten; God also has rights, the right to be given his proper place and the right to have his laws respected.
And he has the right, because he created us, to call us to account.
The views expressed are not necessarily those of the editor but are the views of the writer.
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